Relationship Counseling - Handy Tips for Saving Your Relationship If you're having serious problems in your marriage or your relationship, getting a counselor can make a huge difference. When you open up yourselves to a qualified third party, you can gain a healthier perspective into your situation and have a better chance of surviving those rough patches. Before you find a counselor though, it's good to correct any misconceptions you might have about counseling. First of all, it's not true that counselors go around dictating what couples must do. Their purpose is not to listen to your complaints and give you assignments on what to do to fix your relationship. Yes, they will listen, but their job is to help you determine the real issues and create your own solution. Another wrong belief about counseling people might have is that couples should only use it as a last resort. This is a grave misconception because when couples come for counseling as a last resort, the damage usually can no longer be reversed. While you consider the idea of going into counseling, you can begin to work on your marriage or relationship by heeding a few tips. For instance, if you're like a lot of couples, you probably think that keeping your mouth shut and avoiding arguments altogether is a good way to keep your relationship trouble-free. This is not at all true. If anything, not talking only means giving your frustrations a chance to bottle up until you can no longer take it and everything explodes. Instead, what you can do is establish some fight rules that you and your partner must adhere to while freely venting your frustrations. Getting Down To Basics with Experts One example would be no cursing or name-calling. Instead of personally attacking each other, concentrate instead on looking for a solution to your problem. Another good ground rule is no yelling. It can be hard to stop yourself though, especially if you do it as a defense mechanism. Remind yourself how demaning this can be to the other person. You can always walk away when things become uncontrollable and just return when you've both calmed down. The Best Advice About Rehabs I've Ever Written Another effective way to argue without harm is to write down your sentiments. It doesn't have to perfectly structured. The best thing about writing down your feelings is that you can say everything without interruption. No one's going to get cut off. Definitely, the first rule holds - no personal attacks, no name-calling. Marriage or relationship counseling can change your life as a couple in ways bigger than you thought it could. Sometimes, there can even be immediate effects after you start working with a qualified therapist. Of course, you have to be aware of the fact that a counselor can only stay in the sidelines. You and your partner must share that common determination to improve your relationship, and that's the only time it actually will.